Child (any, pick one!): "What time is it?"
Me: "7:30."
Child: "Oh. What time is that?"
Me: "Halfway between 7:00 and 8:00."
Child: "What's 8:00?"
Me: "It's bathtime! Stop asking me questions about the clock!!!"
Child, running off to siblings: "It's bath time!"
See, there is a benefit to having a schedule! It really shortens THOSE conversations. Until kids are old enough to comprehend time, say, at about 33 years old and they are late for work, they just don't understand what anyone means when they tell them the actual TIME. And when you have a set schedule, it's just easier to tell them "It's bath time" or "it's time for lunch" or "it's quiet time, because Mommy is about to break into the vodka if we don't have quiet time."
I get so many emails asking me about routines and schedules. I get more hits on the link to the routines posted here than on any other part of the site! Apparently, this is an area that is a quandry for so many people. And it's easy to see why. There is a mindset that once you set a schedule, that's it. It's written in stone, and it needs to be followed. That's just not realistic, folks! I know I have my detailed schedule that I posted out here, but it isn't a letter of the law document! If something comes up, then the schedule gets tossed out the window until we can come back to it. And it's more of a general guideline anyway, to keep me progressing through my day. I don't walk around with a stopwatch! (Unless the kids are brushing their teeth or cleaning up the play room!)
So, you want a schedule of your own. But where do you start? It's kind of like the analogy of filling the jar with stones and sand to make them all fit. You start with the biggest and end with the smallest, with the small filling in all the crevices. To get an idea of how your day can be laid out, you first need to identify those things that you HAVE to do. They are scheduled FOR you by others, or by needs you/others have. And the things I'm talking about are daily things, not once a year events... employment would probably top that list! Getting the kids to school might also be a non-negotiable????
Then you add in things like meal times, nap times (for kids), carpool schedules, practices, etc. Starting to look full, isn't it? But you can still find those blocks of time that are open. That's where you fill in the other stuff. For example, up until today I had Monday through Thursday afternoons to myself while Andrew was at school. From 12:15 to 3:15, I was on my own! This is when I scheduled in the things I didn't want to do with kids in tow, such as grocery shopping, errands, and other things. I made all of my doctor appointments during this time frame, and tried to get as much done as possible that would be easiest without the tribe. Things like laundry and vacuuming and housework? Those I can do anytime! So I would fill in regular time slots on the calendar just to make sure I stayed on top of it. But it didn't matter if everyone was home! I can fold towels while the family has movie night. I can vacuum and dust while the kids are working on art projects or playing outside.
But if something comes up and I have a regular item on my schedule? Who cares! I'll get to it the next go round! It's called flexibility. And it's available BECAUSE of the schedule. If you use a schedule to stay on top of everything, when you do have to break routine it won't completely disrupt your life. You'll be ready for whatever life throws at you...
I love you not because of who you are , but because of who I am when I am with you.
Posted by: mbt katika | August 05, 2011 at 04:09 AM